Recent Hockey F***ups

I’m tired of reading about Carey Price, talking about Carey Price, and analyzing glorified scrimmages. So instead of summing up yet another game where only eight or so legitimate NHLers dressed, I thought I would take a look back into recent history and list my favorite hockey fuck-ups. I have no specific time period or order. These are just five great terrible moments that sprung to mind as I began writing.

So without further ado, The Best Hockey Fuck-Ups of Recent NHL History

1- Marty Turco signs with the Chicago BlackFu—-Hawks

Probably my favorite off-season moment this summer. Let me paint the picture for you, just in case you missed it — The Chicago Blackhawks press room. Stan Bowman just finishes introducing their newest off-season acquisition who will hopefully help them repeat their Stanley Cup victory. Marty Turco takes the mic and begins by saying how honoured he and his family are to be members of the Chicago BlackFuc**….oops!

Ahhh…yes! After so many years of sitting in the Dallas dressing room and talking crap about their Conference rivals, Turco slipps and uses what is probably an internal locker room name for the Blackhawks.

2 – Keith Ballard DESTROYS his own goalie

It was like a game of tee-ball, and Tomas Vokoun’s head was the ball.

On November 30, 2009, Keith Ballard gripped his stick in both hands and swung at his goal post only to miss the target and instead hit his own goaltender on the side of the head.

The act of frustration was due to Ilya Kovalchuk’s (then just an Atlanta Thrasher and not the most costly player in NJ Devil’s history) dance around Ballard for a beauty of a goal.

3- Ryan O’Byrne’s infamous own-goal

Habs fans, how can we forget that fateful November night when we were leading 3-2 against the Islanders. With less then 5-minutes left in the game the ref put his hand in the air signaling a delayed penalty call against the Islanders. As Carey Price leaves the net for the extra man, Habs fans everywhere were under the assumption that this game was ours for the taking.

Ahh…assumptions….

4- Ryan O’Byrne Arrested for Stealing a  Purse

Can you believe Ryan O’Byrne makes this list twice? Poor kid.  For those that forgot about Purge-Gate, here’s a quick recap: Tampa Bay 2008, The Montreal Canadiens Rookie dinner. Apparently the guys were out, and some girl took compromising photos on her cell phone. In an attempt to be a good teammate, O’Byrne takes her purse so he can presumably get to her phone to delete photos.

Sadly this wasn’t caught on video…BUT, here’s a link to the full story.

5- The Avery Rule

A list outlining hockey f***ups wouldn’t be complete without Sean Avery. I probably could have picked from any number of incidents, but the one I truly love is from the Rangers/Devils playoff series in 2008.

The Rangers have a 5 on 3, and Avery starts screening Martin Brodeur in a very unorthodox way. Check out the video. Watch Avery in front of the net. Watch Chris Drury tell Sean Avery to knock it off. Watch Avery eventually score :)

So those are my five. I probably missed a bunch, what are your favorite hockey fuck-ups?

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