I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am a subscriber to the NHL newsletter and that means weekly emails about whatever great new jersey sale they are having. Since my real job is the Marketing and Communications Director of a company, and a good part of our strategy is eNewsletters, I like to give other companies the stats I crave, so I click on the links and read whatever it is I am supposed to read. I like to think of it as marketing karma.
What has surprised me is the sheer number of ridiculous items the NHL sells – basically, if you can put a team logo on it the NHL will sell it. It’s at the point that if I wanted, I could dress and live in a mono-hab world. I could literally ensure that my eyes only gaze upon Habs paraphenlia in both my home and office.
Below are just three of my favorites, all available to order online (just in time for Christmas). For the sake of team loyalty, I’ve selected only Habs adorned items, though you can of course order these wonderfully useless items with any team logo.
|Xzipit Montreal Canadiens Logo Panel – $99.00
$100 for a panel! What ever does this panel do? Well, if you also purchased the Xzipit leather recliner, this handy panel let’s you change your allegiance on a whim (or 7-10 business days, depending on where you live). The business case for this product is a Leafs fan. When the Leafs won those 4-games in a row all the way back in October, the Xzipit company received countless orders for their Maple Leaf recliner. They subsequently received an inordinate number of returns when the Leafs predictably started losing. The solution? A clever quick-fix: no need to return the whole couch, just cover your mistake up with a better team!
Click here for the full listing.
|Sports Coverage Montreal Canadiens Window Valance – $29.99
The product description on the site lets potential buyers know that this valance is perfect to add that finishing touch to a spots fan’s room. WTF? If I ever got this, I would surely end up divorced – this is just too too far. It looks as though some disfigured Habs marionnette show is about to begin.
Click here at your own risk for the full listing.
|Littlearth Montreal Canadiens Super Cyclone Purse – $94.99
I’ve actually seen women with this purse, and it is just as horrible live. Basically, this is a giant metal lunch-box that is passing itself off as a $95 purse. Look, I am by far not a purse kinda girl – in fact my one female co-worker is usually beside herself with the receptacle I bring my lunch in – but even I, the un-girliest girl ever, knows that this is just terrible. First off, it’s made from a recycled aluminum licence plate. Secondly, it appears as if the closure mechanism is nothing but a used bottle cap, presumably from a cheap beer. Maybe lady fans can get away with this kind of thing in Nashville, but in Montreal it is simply unacceptable.
Full listing here…if for some reason you want to make someone’s Christmas a bad one.
Please feel free to visit shop.nhl.com for even more NHL goodies. Just a few of things I didn’t list include:
- Carpets and pet rugs
- Business card holders
- Tiffany lamps
- Baby throws
- and bikinis (though those were a little bit hot)